Commitment Phobe

Dating is and should be fun when you know how to date.

It shouldn’t be exhausting, hard work and create anxiety.

There are lots of ways you help stop the anxiety and I’d love to help.

You may have no shortage of guys texting you
You may have no shortage of guys wanting to hang out with you
You may have no shortage of guys wanting to message you on Tinder
You may have no shortage of guys wanting to sleep with you
You may have no shortage of guys wanting to ‘date’ you

                But where is the commitment?

This can be really frustrating I know. What’s going on you ask yourself?

If you find yourself in ‘relationships’ that only seem to last up to 3 or 4 months and after that either the guy disappears or you have had enough of his bad behaviour and dump him.

This seems to happen over and over again, it may not even get to 3-4 months, it may only last a couple of weeks.

You may be at the point of ‘I’ve had enough’ why bother anymore.

There was a really great quote from a Zac Efron movie and it goes something like this;
 ‘I’m not confused she dumped me, I’m just confused she thought we were in a relationship.’

If a a guy asks you for a committed relationship make sure he backs it up with his words.

He may be just saying this to stop you from dating other guys however he may still be dating other girls. Be mindful this is not just a ploy for manipulation.

When he asks for a committed relationship with you or asks you to be exclusive that should mean it is only a matter of time before he asks you to marry him.

That is what being in committed relationships is about.
It shouldn’t be about stopping you from dating others until he finds someone else. These just become the short term ‘relationships’ that aren’t really relationships at all.

Here are some ways to make sure his actions back up his words;

  • Is he asking for weekly Saturday night dates 
  • Does he send personalised messages to you
  •  Is he still prepared to date you if you don’t want to sleep with him yet
  • Does he pay on dates
  • Is he respectful and have good character
  • Does he not look at other women when you are out
  • Has he introduced you to his friends and family as his girlfriend
  • Does he buy romantic gifts for your Birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s Day      

Before you accept to be in a committed relationship make sure he is right for you.

If you don’t feel ready you could say;

‘Thank you, I’m really enjoying the time I’m spending with you, however I don’t feel ready for that yet’

If the guy is the one that disappears or his behaviour turns bad, look at how the relationship started, what happened along the way and how did things change for the worse. 

Here is what can help for next time;

  • Let him call you first
  • Let him text you first
  • Let him ask you out
  • See him only once a week for a Saturday Night Date for the first 3 months 
  • See him only outdoors so you don’t accidentally sleep with him!!
  • Wait until you are in a committed relationship or married before you sleep with him
  • If he condescending, rude or manipulative stop seeing him
  • Let him contact you first online or come unto you first when you are out.
  • Let him to show you he is worthy of being your husband.  

Sit back and observe his behaviour and allow him the time and space to ‘chase’ you and realise for himself that he can’t live without you. More than anything act in your feminine, this means letting him show you he is worthy of being your husband.

Remember what I teach is about finding a husband for a lifetime of happiness not just a boyfriend. You can have a boyfriend tomorrow by just doing the opposite of everything I tell you and these ‘relationships’ may not last the distance however they will lead to heartache.

Haven’t you had enough of that already?

You should want the best for yourself and nothing less because that is what you deserve and it is possible, just ask the 7 of my clients who got married last year!!

Love Lyn x

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