Do You Or Don’t You Go Dutch??

There is a Reality TV Show on in Australia called First Dates and like all dating reality TV shows I watch these shows with my hands over my face peeking through the cracks. It’s like watching a car about to hit a tree, I want to jump into the TV and say ‘What are you doing???’

One of the most common things I see is the girls offering to pay on the dinner date, even when the guy has said
‘no, no its OK, I’ll get it’
the girls insist on paying stating among other things
‘I am an independent woman’
thinking this is going to increase the chance of the guy wanting to date them again. 

During the week on one of my complimentary coaching calls my client asked for some clarity on this as she stated in her age group (late 20’s) and it being 2019 she was under the impression that you just have to accept this is the way it is, going dutch.

So, with this blog I want to try to clear up what is the best thing to do.

Firstly this won’t really become an issue if you don’t ask the guy out. When you ask the guy out which is something that I definitely don’t recommend then you would feel obliged to pay or pay half as this was your invitation. A very good reason why you don’t ask guys out.

If the guy asks you out to dinner or lunch on the first date (date zero) it would be a good idea to politely decline by saying

‘Thank you for your lovely offer for lunch, however I only have time for coffee!!’
‘Thank you for your lovely offer for dinner, however I only have time for a drink!!’

The reason being it becomes very awkward when the bill comes is if you don’t want to see him again, you may feel bad knowing you aren’t going to go on another date therefore feeling like you should pay your share.

If you are meeting him for coffee or a drink (date zero), keep some small change in your wallet, don’t offer to pay however if he asks you to pay your share then smile, pay and never see him again as he isn’t thinking long term or trying to impress you.
If he says ‘It’s on me’ smile, thank him and don’t offer to pay.

If he asks you for lunch or dinner after the first coffee or drinks date or if you have met before, once again take some money with you in case you are asked to pay your share, if this happens, pay, smile and never see him again for the reasons above.

When the bill comes no need to do anything, no need to take your wallet out, no need to offer to pay half or all the bill, doesn’t matter how much you earn or how much of an independent woman you are just look around the room and not at the bill.

We like to teach old fashioned feminine values that attract a guy at any age in any decade. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing, it doesn’t matter what the media tries to tell you, do what works and do what attracts the type of guy that will value a girl that is confident enough to appreciate a guy who wants to show her what a great husband he will make and how he can take care of her and pay the bill.

If he asks you out on a date he understands it will cost him money and he is happy to pay, your part is to act in your feminine, smile and thank him for a lovely evening that speaks volumes to a guy more than offering to go dutch
Love Krystal and Lyn

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