How To Avoid The Expectations Of Sex


As you may have seen recently we asked for some suggestions as to what we should write about on our blogs, Miss B wrote in this question which I am sure many of you would like to know the answer.

Back in the day (showing some age now) before internet dating we would go to a bar or club on a Friday, Saturday night and maybe somewhere for a Sunday afternoon session to meet guys. There were several bars that had a reputation of being a ‘pick up bar’ just like today Tinder can have a reputation of being a ‘pick up site’ The big difference if you don’t allow yourself to be ‘picked up’ it isn’t going to be a ‘pick up bar or site for you’ Don’t think that if you have a Tinder profile every guy is going to ask you for sex, it simply isn’t true, Krystal met her husband Stuart on Tinder and he didn’t even suggest having sex with her.

I hear over and over again that girls seem to think that if they don’t have sex with the guy that the guy will date someone else, however the opposite is true.

I hear that if I don’t have ‘sexy’ photos’ on my profile I won’t get as much attention, if I don’t dress ‘sexy’ when I go out not as many guys will approach me. Once again the opposite is true, you are only looking for one guy that will have the privilege of being your husband.

Let’s take the most precious things on earth, diamonds and gold to name a few, they are not openly visible, they aren’t on display on the ground for everyone to see, they are hidden deep beneath the ground, they take time and patience to find them, they take work and commitment to locate where they might be.

How can something so small be so valuable, because it is hard to find and hard to get!! 

You want to know your worth and value, you want to know that you don’t need to be on display to attract the guy. Each Saturday night I go out with my husband for dinner and one of our favourite restaurants is near the nightclub precinct, when he sees the girls really scantily clad he says to me
‘Why don’t they go home and put some clothes on’
Even one of my single male nephews comments about how it puts him off when a girls shows too much, it does make him wonder why she would try so hard, maybe she is insecure.

There are several ways to help to prevent a guy from expecting sex, here are a few tips;

Take a look at the photos on your Online profile if you are showing too much cleavage or they are too suggestive you might want to make some changes.

How are you dressing when you go out, are you attracting guys that are suggesting going back to their place or yours, once again think about covering up a little more, you don’t need to dress like a Nun, try to get the balance between too provocative and classy.

Not initiating text messages, online messages or phone calls, this can be an indication to a guy that your are a little needy and he might be able to take advantage.

Not writing too much in your profile, he may get an indication that you are trying to sell yourself and he could take advantage.

One of the other questions we had that we will answer next week is how to dress on dates and when you go out.

For those of you who know Krystal she dresses ‘old fashioned vintage’ I am amazed that when we go out the amount of guys and girls comment on how lovely she looks (although she is gorgeous also), that was one of the things that stood out to her husband, that she dressed like a lady, it made him realise how confident she was not too show it all.

If you have addressed all of the above and a guy texts you or makes any suggestions in regards to sex, no need to respond just block and delete him and be grateful you dodged a bullet.

We love you and want the best for you, you precious diamond you!!


Love Krystal and Lyn

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