|What Do I Do When He Says…..?
This will be the start of a series of answering common questions that we get asked during our coaching sessions.
One of the main concerns that happen over and over is
‘I’m scared he will break up with me if I don’t do what he is complaining about’
Firstly we need to establish that just because a guy speaks out loud about something that is bothering him doesn’t necessarily mean the he wants us to fix it.
This is something that is important to remember when you are married also.
Guys can sometimes vent, talking out loud as this is the thoughts that is going through his head, he doesn’t always want you to act on it.
Many, many years ago I used to teach selling and one of the things we would teach is to let the customer speak, but don’t jump in too soon.
The customer may say;
‘It’s really expensive
(this is where the salesperson would want to jump in and say something) however when they waited the customer could say,
‘but I’ll take it’.
If the salesperson jumped in too soon with more of trying to sell the product or offer a discount they may very well talk themselves out of the sale.
So what has this got to do with dating, a lot…
The guy may say to you;
‘I’m not sure if you really like me’
this could be because you are very different to all the other girls he has dated, you aren’t texting, you aren’t calling, you aren’t sleeping with him too soon, basically you aren’t initiating anything.
This isn’t where you jump in and say or do anything, let him finish.
When I was dating my husband he would say to me;
‘I am a body language expert and I can’t get a read on you, I don’t know if you even like me’
I would just smile and look around the room, then he would say;
‘Well, you must like me because you showed up on the date!!’
Don’t feel if a guy says;
‘I’m not sure if you like me’
that he is wanting to be reassured, if you do you might talk him out of how he feels about you, not make him like you more.
Guys are very black and white and come from a place of fact rather than reading too much into the situation, if they are unsure whether you like them or not they will ask you on a date.
If you say yes, you like him, (not including if you already have other plans)
I always like to say that guys are like cactus’s just a few drops of water, saying yes to dates (provided they ask in advance and for Saturday nights) and smiling on the dates, It’s really that simple.
Guys aren’t looking for reassurance, on Married at First Sight recently one of the girls texts constantly telling him how much she liked him, he was interested until she started this and it sent him in the other direction of not wanting to see her again.
Acting in your feminine isn’t about worrying if he likes you, it is about;
‘is he good enough for me’.
Too much reassurance is too much, your drowning your plant!!
Just smile on the dates, be bright and breezy, that’s enough!!
Have trust and faith, he’s out there looking for you.
We love you and want you to find everlasting love!!
Love Krystal and Lyn
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