If only we really knew and understood this our dating life would be so much easier.
Guys have this inner built knowing who is the right girl for them and it happens at hello, actually it can happen before hello, guys can see a girl from a distance, in a room and that girl is their dream girl.
When it hits them it is very powerful for them, it isn’t something they will necessary share with the girl, however my Dad did say to my Mum 67 years ago on their first (blind) date ‘I’ll marry you one day’.
They might share it with a trusted friend or family member.
My late husband told his Mum after our first date that he found the girl he was going to marry (he was 19 years old).
My husband now, told his best friend after the night he met me (we hadn’t even gone on a date ) that he found the girl he was going to marry.
Krystal’s husband knew the day he met her he would marry her, I could go on with so many other stories and I am sure that you know many yourself.
Each week I think long and hard about what to write and the prompting of this week’s newsletter is the latest Bachelor Australia TV show.
Dating is a skill that needs to be learnt, we need to learn the psychological, scientific and spiritual reason for why guys react the way they do.
The show I am sure is very heavily edited to create the most drama, but the important message here is that no amount of crying, begging, flirting, manipulating, complaining or chasing is going to change a guy’s mind.
To be honest The Bachelor and in fact all The Bachelor’s knew the girl ‘Had them at hello’ they knew which one they were going to pick then. It is up to the girl to keep that dream girl status and not go to casual girl by her desperate behaviour. The show has very little long term success as opposed to the Bachelorette where the guys have to work for the girl.
So what has this got to do with you??
There could be a guy in your life your crazy about, you just know he likes you because he is always texting and telling you about his day, he is always flirting with you or that you have been ‘dating’ for a long time.
You text him back and with excuses to message him, you could be asking him about the name of the dentist he goes to.
You could invite him out with a group friends, just so you can get all dressed up and show him how amazing you can look.
You might offer to cook him dinner to show him what an amazing cook you are.
You might want to sleep with him to show him it’s the best sex he has ever had.
You might want to drive to see him, to be easy going and not make it too hard for him.
You might want to drop hints about getting married because you have been dating for so long.
You might want to have a long talk with him about the reasons he should see you more, marry you, message you more, buy you more gifts or show more affection.
Unfortunately, none of this will work, if you didn’t have him at hello, you may not have him at all.
As hard as it is the best thing to do is nothing but respond and not initiate. It is really hard when we put ourselves in a position to feel rejected, whenever we initiate we are running the risk of being rejected.
Every girl on The Bachelor runs the risk of being rejected, how sad and painful for them.
Rather than hoping the guy likes me, how about changing your mindset to , if he asks me out I’ll think about it, I’ll think about whether he has good character, I’ll think about whether he is the type of guy I want to spend the rest of my life with, rather than I hope he will respond to my messages and flirting.
If you are currently in a relationship and any of the above resonates with you, start to change today by just responding and not initiating. Doesn’t matter where you are at with your relationship, you can start today.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life and today is the day you can make changes with the way you date or the relationship you are currently in, no matter how much of a mess it might seem.
Today is the day you might need an Angel to hold your hand!!
Krystal and Lyn
The Dating Angels
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